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Living in a world rampant of hormones, we find ourselves coming into contact with those of the opposite sex. Personally, I have quite a few guy friends...I mean they're easy to be friends with and don't require a "necessary schedule for hanging out" quite like girls do. Yes I admit, being a girl with girlfriends is a 2-way relationship, and it's a lot more work to keep a girl friend than a guy friend.
I remember some situations throughout my entire 21 years where I would have a guy friend. Our relationship would slowly progress to a comfortable level where we were be open with each other, and yes, some flirting did take place. But that after a certain time period, I would find out that they ended up actually liking me! Being naive back then, in high school and grade school, I did not know how to react. It would be along the lines of: "WHY DO YOU LIKE ME!! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!! HOW COULD YOU RUIN OUR GREAT FRIENDSHIP LIKE THAT!!" So then I would completely ignore the guy for some time, until they "un-liked" me. I admit I was cruel but I really didn't know what to do in that situation. Sadly, many of my friendships to these guys never recovered.
So I began thinking, maybe it's me that's giving off a certain vibe where these guys can think it possible that I'm actually into them. Maybe I'm too nice, too giggly, too flirty? Maybe I like attention from these guys, any attention is better than no attention right? But wait, that's sick, why should I be thriving on attention from guys I don't like in that way? HMMMMM...
This then brings me to the topic of there only be a friend barrier between girls and boys, is it possible? Here are what some people have to say:
"I think boys and girls can be just friends but you need to establish it from the beginning. In my case a lot of my friends are guys, they cause less drama, and they always keep me laughing. We hang out all the time and some have fallen for me, but i have a boyfriend and i told them as clearly as possible that i wont have any feelings that way for them and that they can remain my friends or not, it's up to them and i didn't want it to ruin anything. Things are really good with them now, we talk about everything and it isn't weird because we established that I want them as a friend not a romantic partner."
"Of course boys and girls can just be friend. Friendship is a meaningful thing. Being friends means you are there for each other, you talk, you hang out, sometimes you talk everyday, and sometimes you talk once a year, it doesn't matter, you're still friends."
"No. I have a guy who is my best friend, and I can tell you that there will always be other feelings involved. I love him more than he knows and I don't think he returns these feelings. I talk to him about the way I feel occasionally, but he doesn't want a relationship at all and I am ready for one. I'm so stuck at the moment because my friends don't understand that I love him...I can't leave the friendship."
"no, because you always hear stories that they ended up sleeping together after getting drunk or to cheer each other up. the Quran says that no man and woman can be in the same room together without the devil's company."
Though you may feel like it's obvious that girls and boys can only be friends, once your in that situation, you get to see how complicated it can actually be. The hardest thing that may arise is if one person is in a relationship, then the real question is where the boundary should be. Regardless, I believe that girls and guys can only be friends, but it depends how much of yourself you want to share with the other person. Just because your really good friends, doesn't mean you can expect to share your feelings, thoughts, etc with them without some kind of connection that may grow more romantically. If you do find yourself doing this, then you probably feel comfortable enough to open up yourself to them and who knows maybe even a potential relationship.
You Just Do You, Imma Do Me
Camille
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I don't know about you, but I can't get enough of heels, and I'm so obsessed with playform heels, especially pumps!!! I'm not exactly the tallest person, that's why I love platform shoes, especially ones that add the finishing touches to any outfit. What's best is that, you can wear something so simple, like a plain black dress, then show off your fabulous heel!
What I love about the Steve Madden glitter pump is that it's so glamorous and chic. It brings the statement of beauty and perfection, the statement is sooo loud, you can't help but feel noticed. The glitter from the shoe reflects any light, and the color of the pump is still very neutral yet show-stopping.
The Rachel Roy pump is to die for! I have never seen any shoe like it. I prefer the black beaded design over the glitter for this particular pump because it matches the heel better and is still very sophisticated. The heel of the shoe seriously provides the perfect touch to this one of a kind creation because it's so edgy and fashion forward.
Yes, there is a love/hate relationship to pumps, especially 5 inch heel ones! But sometimes the only option is to ignore the pain, and keep staying fierce!!! Shoes are the best accessory to any outfit, a true necessary statement.
You Just Do You, Imma Do Me
Camille
Fossil Black Ceramic with Stones $225 <<<>>> Michael Kors Ceramic with Crystals $495
Window shopping is something I do often. I know I have a lot of possessions, so I try to look at things I really need at the moment. Of course who can resist, any designer item. A lot can be said without words to a woman who owns a Balenciaga bag or a pair of Louboutin heels. But have we ever thought what origin does that item come from. Nowadays there are so many labels where the work is being outsourced to different countries. When it all comes down to it, how much money are the items we use really worth?
One clear example I came across was in a Fossils store, I noticed many of the watches looked very similar to the Michael Kors watches I love so much. I've been on the hunt for a great ceramic watch, so while I was browsing in Fossil, I saw the most beautiful ceramic watch. It was black with crystals all around the face, and the thing that stood out was the mother of pearl detail in the watch. I've never seen anything like it before, so innovative and stylish!! And to my surprise, way cheaper than any Michael Kors ceramic - $225!!! Talk about my go-to watch, this is definitely on my list of things to get.
A secret I also found out, was that Fossil makes other designer watches!! Yes, Michael Kors being one of them. There goes the reason why the price has inflated because these well known designers need to make profit from the manufacturers. Of course I always knew this fact, but this item really applied to me. Just because I found out this fact, doesn't make me love Michael Kors any less or any other designer. Michael Kors will always be one of my favorite designers regardless, I will always love the Louis Vuitton Evidence sunglasses, and the stylish Burberry trenchcoat. I am a sucker for certain designer things, I admit it...
Which brings me to the point: what is the price you are willing to pay for a designer name?
You Just Do You, Imma Do Me
Camille
Last night I was watching Dateline on WE, so this topic is mainly aimed toward females. The program was about women who couldn't get out of an abusive relationships despite being physically, mentally, and emotionally abused. A lot of this had to do with the fact that they loved these men and couldn't let them ago, and that they had a family with their partner.
"Women may not immediately leave an abusive relationship because:
*They fear their abusers will become more violent—perhaps fatal—stalking them if they leave.
*Friends and family may not support their decision to leave.
*They fear being a single parent with little money.
*There are periods of calm, nurturing and love between incidents of violence.
*They may be unaware of sources of advocacy and support.
*They may be unaware of shelters and other resources that offer safety and support.
The reasons women stay in abusive relationships typically fall into three categories.
1) Lack of resources:
-Most abused women have at least one minor child.
-Many abused women are not employed outside the home.
-Many abused women don't have property that is solely theirs.
-In many cases, abusers have cut off access to cash or bank accounts.
-Most abused women fear losing joint assets and custody of their children.
-Abused women fear a lower standard of living for themselves and their children.
2) Responses by services and authorities:
-Often, clergy and social workers are trained to "save the family" rather than to stop violence.
-Police often treat incidents of domestic violence as mere "disputes" rather than as serious crimes in which one person is physically assaulting another.
-Police may try to discourage women from pressing criminal charges.
-Attorneys are often reluctant to prosecute cases. Justices rarely assign the maximum sentence or fine possible.
-Restraining orders and peace bonds do little to prevent abusers from repeating their violent patterns of behavior. Sadly, there are too few shelters to keep women safe.
3) Traditional thinking:
-Many women don't view divorce as a viable alternative.
-Many abused women don't accept the notion of single parenting. They believe a bad father is better than none at all.
-Many women are conditioned to believe they are responsible for making their marriage or relationship work; that if the relationship fails, they have failed as women. Society has often taught these women that their worth is measured by their ability to get and keep a man.
-Many abused women feel isolated from their families and from society. Isolation is either the result of the abuser's possessiveness or jealousy, or it may be an attempt on the part of the victim to hide signs of abuse from the outside world. Either way, such isolation leads many victims to feel they have nowhere to turn.
Many victims externalize or rationalize the reasons for their abuser's behavior, casting blame of circumstances such as stress, financial hardship, job stress, chemical dependency, etc.
-Between violent episodes, there are periods of calm during which the abuser is charming, nurturing, and caring. Those traits which initially attracted him/her to his/her victim resurface and the victim sees her abuser as a loving person, thereby reinforcing her decision to stay. (See The Cycle of Abuse.) "
**info provided by Women's Web**
To see any person get abused by their "partner" is appalling because someone you love and who loves you back should never want to hurt you. The fact that they see you as property is something you should never oblige to. Being in a sacred relationship such as marriage, the two people have to be equal and be able to resolve conflict without any harm. Though these women may be dealing with torn hearts between what's best for them or issues of independence and self-esteem, it will never be okay to be abused.
Despite having a history of abusive relationships that you may have experienced with your parents, you CAN BREAK THE CYCLE. YOU NEED TO LOVE YOURSELF, BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE ANYONE ELSE, JUST BELIEVE THAT YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. DO WHAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, SOMEONE IS ALWAYS WILLING TO HELP YOU.
You Just Do You, Imma Do Me,
CamiLLe
