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Let this be a lesson, kiddies - always wear your helmet. Oh, wait, never mind.
The Guardian reports:
Christian doomsday prophet Harold Camping looks likely to be less than rapturous after his prediction that the world would end on Saturday failed to materialise. The 89-year-old Californian preacher had prophesied that the Rapture would begin at 6pm in each of the world's time zones, with those "saved" by Jesus ascending to heaven and the non-believers being wiped out by an earthquake rolling from city to city across the planet. But as the deadline for the Apocalpyse passed in the Pacific islands, New Zealand and Australia, it became apparent that Camping's prediction of the end of the world was to end not with a bang but with a whimper.
You broke through the line of scrimmage, put some nasty moves on a couple of linebackers, ran over a defensive back and now you're in the clear. Suddenly, the ball slips out of your grasp just before crossing the goal line....
Nice try, homes. What the fuck is wrong with these people? The amount of sympathy I have for this dude wouldn't fill a thimble. You wanna play with the big boys? Get out of the kiddie park! Small time dickwads play in small time arenas and it doesn't get any more small time than this pathetic attempt. Destined for a life ridin' buses in the minor leagues with no hope for the call-up to the show. Parkour pussy. Bang. Done. Pay attention.
BMX Rider Lands On Head - Watch more Funny Videos
Hey wait, did I just hear LeBron James call this dude a retard? Uncalled for LBJ, uncalled for. That is all.
FLORIDA - Polk County Sheriff’s detectives are looking for a beer robber. It happened on Wednesday, April 27, 2011, at the E-Z Food Store located at 15 Acuff Road in Lake Wales. The suspect, seen on video surveillance, got out of the front passenger side of a black Chevy Lumina with dark tinted windows and no tag, and walked into the store. Moments later the suspect then ran out of the store with two cases of Bud Light beer. The robber tripped and fell, dropping the beer all over the parking lot, then jumped into the backseat of the waiting vehicle and fled the scene. Investigators describe the suspect as a white male in his mid-20s, wearing blue jeans, a green T-shirt, a dark colored ballcap with a white logo on it, and black sneakers.
Fumble! Hey coach, don't draft this kid. His quickness isn't bad. Recovery time nothin' to sneeze at. But he can't hold onto the rock! Turnovers are everything when ya get to the big time and we just can't be havin' this shit. Nope - pass. Not even an invitation to camp.
Mad props for this security guard. It's pretty clear he took some meaningful shots to the dome but he stood his ground and turned back this Jesse James wannabe. I remember reading about those old Pinkerton security guards in the Wild West. Supposedly they were as mean and tough and bad-ass as it gets. Well, my friend, I hereby nominate you as an honorary Pinkerton. Well played, my man.
Furious about them there liberal critics, the producer of this year's biggest cinematic flop, Atlas Shrugged, says the movie's two planned sequels probably will not happen.
"Critics, you won," said John Aglialoro, the businessman who spent 18 years and more than $20 million of his own money to make, distribute and market "Atlas Shrugged: Part 1," which covers the first third of Rand's dystopian novel. "I’m having deep second thoughts on why I should do Part 2." "Atlas Shrugged" was the top-grossing limited release in its opening weekend, generating $1.7 million on 299 screens and earning a respectable $5,640 per screen. But the the box office dropped off 47% in the film's second week in release even as "Atlas Shrugged" expanded to 425 screens, and the movie seemed to hold little appeal for audiences beyond the core group of Rand fans to whom it was marketed.Aglialoro says the cruelest review of all came from the New York Times, who never mentioned the film.
Matt Algren reports that protesters outnumbered attendees by 2-1 at Porno Pete's ant-gay "Truth Academy" this weekend. Hit the link for his coverage.
